I don’t want to be known by my “story” .. BUT I know for you to better understand why I created this blog & why I am so passionate about living in health, you get to know the juicy details! :]
As a small child, I was as vivacious as they come. The attention was always on me & I soaked every bit of it in. It wasn’t until around the age of 8 that I started to slowly gain weight. At first, I didn’t even notice- I was as confident as ever. By 4th & 5th grade I was wearing about a size 7 in women’s & it was the first time I realized I was “bigger” than the other girls my age. I started to worry about what people thought about me & I became very reserved & shy. I tried to avoid a lot of social situations- resulting in me staying home a lot & feeding my emotions. By 6th grade, I was up to a size 16 & it didn’t end there. My family ended up moving right after my 7th grade year to the Salt Lake area & there I was- a shy, overweight 14 year old thrown into a world where I knew no one.. so what’d I do? I’m sure you guessed it- I ate. Food was the one thing in my life that I loved. It was the one thing I enjoyed doing- it didn’t judge me or care what I looked like. It didn’t critisize me or laugh at me behind my back… by 9th grade I weighed in at a whopping 220 lbs & a size 20.
In 9th grade I met my best friend Laura who loved me & my love handles. She was just like me deep down inside- our soul signatures were the exact same- visionary. Fun, off the wall, bubbly, full of energy, funny, friendly, etc. etc. Together we were the 2 amigas- soul sisters- inseparable. We had one very big thing in common too.. we both loved food. Only you see, my dear friend could eat & eat & eat yet not gain a pound. I witnessed on multiple occasions this girl devour an entire bag of Cheetos. Yet look at that bean pole! Genetics? Who knows..
My high school years were lived through this girl. On the nights she would be on dates- I’d wait at home to hear how it went. When she got asked to school dances- I would be the one to do her hair.. and wait at home to hear how it went. I would constantly have guys using me to get to her. One of these boys actually told Laura that she would get no where in life with a best friend like me- high school boys sucked.
Let me backtrack for a sec.. because right now you’re thinking.. k this girl is useless, did she do anything but eat? I actually loved sports & I played basketball & my favorite, fast-pitch softball. I considered myself naturally athletic & I was good at these sports. I may not have been fastest girl out there but I was considered a good player on the team. In high school I tried out for the softball team my sophomore year & made first cuts but not the second. I was devastated.. if I’m not good enough to be on this team, what am I good enough for? I cried for days- & ran into the coach at school one day where she preceded to tell me she would get me on the team the next year. False hope? You guessed it. I tried out the next year only to be cut from the team once again.
I never felt apart of anything in high school, I didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere. Yet I had no idea by having these constant negative thoughts towards myself that I wasn’t helping my situation whatsoever.
I constantly get asked the question “what made you finally decide to do it?” and I honestly have never had a perfect answer but it wasn’t until about a year after I graduated high school that I decided to change. I was in a very unhealthy relationship with a boy & I was very unhappy. I started to focus my energy away from this boy and into exercising & watching what I ate. At this point in my life, I wasn’t nearly as educated as I am today about health & fitness, but I did what was working for me- and that was eating as little as possible & exercising excessively. After about 6-8 months I had shed almost 100 lbs. Nobody recognized me anymore, people from high school had no idea who I was. Those people who realized who I was couldn’t believe it. I was showered with compliments, and I thrived off of the attention. Guys were finally interested in me, I felt like one hot mama. I was so positive towards my body image & myself, I was constantly telling myself how beautiful I was & how great I looked.
It wasn’t too long when I met, my now husband, Tyler. He had gone to high school with me, yet had no idea who I was. You see, Tyler was a football player.. and dated the cheerleaders. I was so shocked that he was actually interested in me now, I felt so lucky! We dated for a year before becoming engaged & were married July of 2008. By this time, people had finally gotten used to my new found body image & the compliments & praises were coming to a screeching halt. I started to ask myself, “why am I not being noticed anymore? Do people not think I look good anymore?” And that’s when I started questioning myself & I started to be negative again- notice the pattern from my childhood? I gained 20 lbs in my first year of marriage & it made me completely miserable. I worked out religiously everyday yet couldn’t seem to lose a pound. I tried every crash diet & pill on the market, only to be disappointed. At the point beyond frustration, I was losing hope when I realized the one thing I had failed to do. Become educated. Over the past few years, I have educated myself on the right ways to exercise and fuel my body. I am LIVING in HEALTH. I have a newly found freedom away from counting calories & spending hours at the gym. I now eat to fuel my body- and eat to burn fat.
Today, I am a size sexy & I am more than a number on the scale- but I will tell you this.. I am the smallest I’ve ever been & the strongest I’ve ever been both physically & mentally. This blog is all about living in health. You’ll find tips on food, fitness, mind & body health, and anything else I feel like throwing in! :]